Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Threatening Plants

Don't get me wrong...
I don't mean plants that are threatened, or endangered.
I DO mean threatening your plants.

I have a variegated leaf Hydrangea. This plant has been in my yard for 4 years. It is in the perfect spot. A focal point actually, because when I bought it, it was beautiful. Loverly blue flowers. Loverly variegated leaves. Loverly in every way.

Since then, plant has been very uncooperative as far as blooming goes. Meaning it doesn't. It won't. It hasn't. It refuses to.

Until this year.
This year I threatened it.

I have a nice size yard, with various gardens within it. I have room for plenty of plants, and I have plenty of plants. I take care of my plants (reasonably so, anyway). I like plants that are reasonably easy to take care of. I like plants that give me reasonable results in return. Hey, I'm a reasonable woman.

So I reasoned with this Hydrangea, 2 years ago after a second year with no flowers. "Hydrangea, please give me some flowers next year. I take care of you, I'd like to see something in return."

No flowers.

The next year I was nice again. "Hydrangea Dear. I really would like to see some flowers next year. You are in a very visible place in the garden. Your fellow Hydrangeas are all performing wonderfully, I need you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps (rootstraps?) and get busy with some blooms. The variegated leaves are nice, but I need flowers."

No flowers.

This year, no more Mrs. Nice-person. The gardening gloves came off. No flowers, no room in the garden (well, not a focal point anyway).

"Hydrangea..WTF? No flowers again?! I give and I give! I give some more! The watering. The fertilizer. The focal point. The nicey-nicey waiting for flowers. This is what I get in return? NOTHING!? I want flowers this year. NO flowers...and you are OUTTAH HERE! Got it? Get it? Good!"

The Variegated Hydrangea has grudgingly given me 2 flowers. They are at the bottom, you could almost miss them if you weren't looking. I of course was looking. Is this all she could muster do to prove herself worthy of being in the garden? Or the least she and could do and still get away with being in the focal point of the garden? Hmmmmmmm...

I have never watched the Sopranos (I know, I know, what rock do I live under?), but maybe next year I will watch reruns, or invest in a DVD and learn how to properly threaten for results. Next year there will be results or this plant gets whacked.

(or moved to the back garden...sheesh, I'm such a wuss)


Tricia said...

LOL I threatened my Antique 89 climbing rose last year. This was after three years of growth but not much else happening. I told it that if it didn't bloom it was a goner. Well low and behold it grew and grew and grew (check my main site and my gardening site for stories of battling the monster!) and bloomed two or three times.

Unfortunately I was (and still am) very ill last fall and didn't winter protect the rose so it's not doing that well so far this year. I'll give it the benefit of the doubt this year since it was my fault if it doesn't do well this year. LOL (if it lives!)

I was trying to send you the green thumb blogroll information email with the blogroll code and instructions ... but the aol email that you left come up with an error. Can you contact me again perhaps with another email and I'll send it to you again? Thanks!

Yolanda Elizabet said...

Result! We try the old good gardener/ bad gardener approach, it works a treat. ;-)